Summer Time

Today is June 20th. In two months I will be Mrs. Hayes. I wonder about that. About my name.
Will I change it? Should I change it? What's in a name? ... again I ask.... alas....

I do not know. I do know that I am deeply fulfilled by the idea of the marriage to Justin. This is a wonderful time in my life to kneel down, bow to, pray and be thankful for. It's also a time to relish in and celebrate! YAY! :D This is happy Leila, be her a Hayes or Kincaid or both and AMEN!

Tomorrow is the first day of summer. I love that. I love summer when I'm on the Northwest coast and it's a cool 60 and breezy with clear skies that reveal Mount Ranier peeking across our lawn to my window here.

How disparte from this were the days, weeks, months I spent in Indiana last summer, baking in the sweltering suffocation of humid 90+ degree weather with the air conditioner on full blast. The biting mosquitos, the crazy making heat. It made me think of the main character, Meursault, in Albert Camus' seminal work, The Stranger, as he was driven to murder in the insanity driving heat of a hot Afraican summer day on a beach.

Dead man on the beach...
I'm alive. I'm dead. I'm a stranger, killing an arab.
Staring at the sea, staring at the sand, staring in the eye that reflected down the barrel...

The Cure turned that scene in the book into a song that echoes through my head when I'm too hot and feel aggrevation, intoleration from too hot weather...

And I also think of the Siouxsie and the Banshees song, 92 degrees. She sings Not 91 or 93 but 92 hot farenheit degrees. At 92 people get irritable! I love that song...

And yes, here, in Bellevue, Washington, USA, it's a cool, clear, breezy 60 and yes, I'm thankful to be here now.

Yay for Summer Solstice! I find it to be a time of tuning my awareness to all the things that have come to be and open my eyes as wide as I can while breathing in deeply through my nose. Mmmmmmm.... Fresh air! Life! Creation! :)

Summer Reading
I just finished a huge writing project that ate up tons of my time, and, thankful to have some free time now that the project is over, I bought some new books to read this summer. I added some of them to my reading list in the right nav, but here is the complete list:

• The Assault on Reason, by Al Gore


• Atlas Shrugged, by Ayn Rand


• Catching the Big Fish, by David Lynch (yes, the moviemaker)


• Aristotle's Poetics for Screenwriters, by Michael Tierno (you have to read Aristotle's Poetics before this work, in order to capture the full essence)


• Bambi vs. Godzilla: On the Nature, Purpose, and Practice of the Movie Business, by David Mamet


• Notes From My Travels, by Angelina Jolie


• Another Day in Paradise: International Humanitarian Workers Tell Their Stories, compiled and edited by Carol Bergman


• A Long Way Gone: Memoirs of a Boy Soldier, by Ishmael Beah


• The Devil's Guide to Hollywood: The Screenwriter as God, by Joe Eszterhas


• A Mighty Heart: The Brave Life and Death of my Husband, Danny Pearl, by Marianne Pearl


• 2007 Writer's Market, Robert Lee Brewer, Writer's Digest Books

I hope you get a chance to read some of these titles.

I'm done reading a couple, am in the process of reading a few, and plan to read all of them throughout the summer.

HAPPY READING!

I'm off to do that now.

Ciao ciao :)

and the summer is easy....

NAME NAME What is a NAME?

JULIET:
'Tis but thy name that is my enemy;
Thou art thyself, though not a Montague.
What's Montague? it is nor hand, nor foot,
Nor arm, nor face, nor any other part
Belonging to a man. O, be some other name!
What's in a name? that which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet;
So Romeo would, were he not Romeo call'd,
Retain that dear perfection which he owes
Without that title. Romeo, doff thy name,
And for that name which is no part of thee
Take all myself.

Leila’s Musings on Names
In response to a discussion and question posted by Barbara Ann O'Leary, who founded her online Evoking Authenticity community forum, I have journeyed into the question: What is a Name?

What is a Name?
When musing on this question, I think of the Bard’s famous line…. “A rose by any other name is not the same… “ and I feel that there is something vital, something essential (as in of the essence), something true and authentic about our Name.
I capitalize Name because it seems to command a certain respect. Name. In the beginning was the NAME. And the name contained the energy of the named.

Certainly we exist before we are named. It’s not that naming is preter-phenomenal to our existence, but it seems that naming is a distinctive moment in our existence. As if, that thing there, this thing here is hereby this essence named this!

So, I existed as something, some form of energy before my mother said you are Leila. But in the naming moment, something clicks, and voila! There is Leilaness about me and all other Leilas , just as there is Janiceness about youJanices, and Barbaraness about all Barbaras, and Adamness about all Adams.

I see it as something similar to being born under a star sign. I mean, come on, there are only 12 sun signs, but there are 6 billion or more of us on the planet right now! So, there is something Piscean about me, that is true for all Pisces, naturally, as with each of the 12 signs. There is something essential in the energy pattern that is associated with a name, a sign. It seems that a lot more energy has gone into researching and cataloging the various characteristics of astrological signs than names. While there are many resources for the meaning and origin and historical use (etymology) of names, I think there is something that we, as the Named, have personal experience that can speak to what it is to be with the names we acknowledge.

I really don’t see Names as labels. Leila is not a label for me. Writer or dancer or poet are labels/roles. But, I find that my Name does not feel like a label.


What’s in a Name? The Power of Naming
It seems that a Name can contain Secrets to patterns that our being takes, tends to take, can take.. potentials (dormant or active), a flavor of being, a title, an identifier, an identity (but not always).

It’s interesting that there is so much energy put into naming, the act of giving a Name, of naming something… that energy goes somewhere.. into the named, into the subject, who now embodies something, some force, some essence, some part of the energy of that naming, of the Name.

I like the idea of considering that name is a verb and a noun. I Name myself the Name, Leila.
And thus, contain some essence of that which is Leila-ish.

When I looked up “name” at http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/Name
I was fascinated with the synonyms, and the thesaurus references. Words I saw there, that struck me as interesting, include: Appellation, Moniker, Title, Designation, Sign, Character, Distinction , Reputation (like, the name you’ve made for yourself…)
Name as verbal or symbolic representation really stood out to me. I like the symbolic aspect. For years I’ve researched the meaning, origin, history, and occurrence of my birth name, Leila. It’s meant a tremendous amount to me to have a relationship with my name, to feel my acceptance and recognition of it is intentional and authentic, true to me, and who I feel I am.

You see, I’m 100 % certain that I would be very different if I were not given the name and lived with the name and identified with the name, Leila.

It was interesting to play with what I found in the etymology and history of names.
I found Shakti Gawain’s explanation of her name in her book, Living in the Light. She talks about how it was a process, an adventure, and that over the years she started being called Shakti, and it stuck, until one day she realized she identified herself and thought of herself as Shakti, and had her name legally changed.

Whatever naming is and names are, what our names mean and the energy they carry definitely affects us.
One thing is for sure: there is a distinct power in naming, claiming, and recognizing a Name.


Do you know what your name means? What is your relationship to your name? How do you claim it, be it, identify with it? Have you changed your name? If you were to change your name, what would it be?

Can you experience yourself beneath your name?
Absolutely! That’s just it! I do not think that I am only my name, Leila. I am not just that. It, Leilaness, is part of me. But there is more me, all of me, that is not just Leila.
I live day to day with the awareness of the being here, this being here that experiences this here like this right now that is not just Leila but is also Leila.

Usually, for me, Leila is a subject that is experiencing things. The Leila part of me is the character in the adventure, the protangonist in my life story, the heroine on her journey.

There is definitely a God here, a Divine presence, a spirit and conglomeration of benevolent, compassionate, and wise beingness in me, that I do not attribute to the unique flavor of Leila. But, as Leila, I can describe the experience, communicate about it, share with you about it, express it, and cherish it.

And there is nothing inauthentic about being Leila and noticing the notLeila. In the end, I really feel it’s all one. All one. And I just look at reality through this peephole most the time.

I feel this is authentically delivered in the spirit of musing on a subject I’ve always been fascinated by: Names!
By the Named, Leila and all the unnamed beingness herein!